


In Sickness and in Health

by ElentariR



Series: Getting Back to Myself [19]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, F/M, Feels, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-02 13:01:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15797055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElentariR/pseuds/ElentariR
Summary: Tony took out the shield surrounding the base and Bucky thought that maybe the assault would be easier.He was wrong.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> We've made it to Age of Ultron! Kinda freakin' out about that. But the plot bunnies must not be denied!

“You’re sure she’ll like it?”

“Yes, James,” Joy said patiently. “She’ll love it.”

Bucky pursed his lips and looked down at the sparkly gold band. It was a simple ring, gold twisted so that it appeared braided, a respectable (but not gaudy) diamond presiding over the band. He couldn’t help but compare it the silver band she had removed months prior.

Bucky and Noelle hadn’t talked much about marriage, but it just seemed like the most natural thing in the world to him. And he was pretty certain he had seen Noelle shove a wedding magazine under the couch cushion a few nights ago, so he was hopeful that – if he did everything just right – his beautiful gift from God just might consent to spend the rest of her life with him.

“It’s alright that it’s different,” Joy said. Her calm reminder sounded so much like Noelle. “It should be. And I can tell you with 100% accuracy that Noelle will love that ring.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Joy smiled. She nudged his arm and bounced on her heels. “Just get it already!”

Joy’s, well, _joy_ was contagious and Bucky gave a satisfied nod and stepped purposefully up to the jeweler.

He had an engagement ring to purchase.

0

“I hear congratulations are in order.”

Bucky glanced up at Barton and shrugged. “Haven’t asked her yet.”

Barton snorted. He leaned against the bulkhead and studied Bucky with a sly grin. “Bucky Barnes, a married man. And a father! Imagine that!”

Bucky rolled his eyes. But he didn’t have a hard time imagining himself married to Noelle at all, or being Steven’s father. He smiled as he looked away. He would be proud to be married to Noelle and be a father to Steven. _Noelle Barnes_ had a nice ring to it. He wondered if Noelle would allow him to formally adopt Steven.

“Don’t worry; my lips are sealed.” Barton winked at him.

“How’d you find out anyway?”

Barton merely smiled.

Steve began his pre-landing briefing and all thoughts turned serious.

“Something’s not right,” Bucky muttered privately to Steve after he concluded his briefing.

Steve frowned.

“I don’t know what, but I just have this feeling. Something isn’t right.”

Steve pursed his lips. “Our intel is good. We’ve vetted and double vetted and done more recon on this base than any other.”

“And our best people have been working on it,” Bucky interrupted. “And the best of the best are here now. I know. I’m just sayin’.”

“This is our best chance at getting Strucker, the scepter, and whatever the hell else he’s working on.”

“I get it, Steve,” Bucky muttered as he double-checked his gear. He shot his partner a glance. “I’m-

“You’re just sayin’,” Steve finished. He offered a wry half-smile. “Job’s never boring. Oh, Nat wants to do a double-date soon.”

Bucky nodded. “Sounds good. I’m sure the girls will get together and tell us when and where to show up.” A pleased smile stretched across his face, momentarily distracted from the worries nagging at him.

And suddenly they were on the ground. Bullets flew and snow scattered. Trees exploded around Bucky. He focused on moving forward, one stride at a time. Ducking, darting, returning fire, punching, kicking – whatever he needed to do to go _forward_. The base was putting up more resistance than they had anticipated.

Tony took out the shield surrounding the base and Bucky thought that maybe the assault would be easier.

He was wrong.

0

Noelle had never believed in sixth senses or anything like that. She believed in ordinary people.

But there was no denying that bone-deep dread that settled over her in the middle of reading groups. She stumbled through the rest of the morning and the black abyss crowded her mind when Sam Wilson slowly stepped through her classroom door as the kids were lining up for lunch.

Noelle’s eyes widened and she sank into the closest student’s chair. She couldn’t breathe. Sam crouched down in front of her and closed his eyes, head hung low.

“Is he...” Tears began to fall. “Please… Bucky...”

Sam chose his words carefully. “He’s alive.”

Noelle gasped with relief. She doubled over and tried not to laugh hysterically. Then Sam’s tone sunk in. She straightened with a severe frown. “What happened? What’s going on, Sam?”

Sam stood. “You’re taking the rest of the day. Hell, the rest of the week. Do whatever you have to do.”

Fresh fear crashed into Noelle again. She nodded mutely.

Steven was already waiting in the office, clutching his backpack and in tears. Noelle wanted to be mad at Sam for telling the front office there was a family emergency and upsetting Steven, but she knew he had done the right thing. It also worried Noelle more – whatever had happened must have been incredibly severe.

Sam chatted pleasantly in the car – an act that didn’t fool Noelle, but seemed to help Steven – and it didn’t take long before Noelle realized they were headed to Mike and Joy’s place. “I’m sorry if I overstepped, but I already called them. They offered to watch him for as long as you need,” Sam told Noelle quietly. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. “Trust me.”

Noelle licked her lips and managed a nod. She just wanted to scream and shout and demand to know what was going on and where her Bucky was. She knew the whole team was on a mission – a very important one. She took a shuddering breath and closed her eyes, trying not to think about what could have happened. She focused on Sam’s assurance that Bucky was alive.

But was he hurt?

About to die?

Noelle shoved the thoughts away. Bucky was alive. That was the important thing.

Joy quickly ushered Steven into the living room and set him up with toys. The sympathetic, worried look Joy sent Noelle made it clear that Joy knew what had happened. And it wasn’t good. Sam pulled Noelle into the kitchen, safely out of Steven’s earshot.

Holding both of her upper arms, Sam looked Noelle straight in the eye. “Hey,” he said, managing a small smile. “Bucky’s alive. Remember that.”

“Just tell me what’s going on, Sam.”

“They took the base, reclaimed Loki’s scepter, and arrested Strucker.”

Noelle frowned. “That’s great, Sam, but _what happened to Bucky_.”

Sam winced and exhaled. “They ran into some trouble inside. Couple of enhanced individuals.”

Noelle’s blood ran cold.

“One of them...” Sam hesitated. “Well, she messed with his mind. Him and Tony.”

“No….” She paled. Her legs threatened to give out.

“She triggered the Soldier.”

The words cut through Noelle like an anti-aircraft weapon – smashed through her, really. For a long minute, she struggled to breath or formulate words. Finally, she managed, “Did he… Are the others...”

“He ran off before anyone realized what had happened. Gave Natasha a good punch or two when she tried to talk to him, but no one got really hurt.”

Noelle sank to the floor. Her Bucky… “Do we know where he is?”

Sam shook his head. “No. And no idea what he might be doing now. We don’t know much about the Winter Soldier without handlers.” He snorted. “We don’t know much about the Winter Soldier, period.”

Noelle licked her lips. “Where are the others?”

“They should be getting back to Stark Tower in the next few hours.” Sam hesitated. “Look, I hate to ask you this, but-”

“I don’t know, Sam.” Noelle interrupted. Sam blinked. “You were going to ask me if I know anything about the Soldier that might help. Well, I don’t. I don’t know where he’ll go. I don’t know what he’ll do. I don’t know what he’s feeling. I don’t know if I’ll see him again. I don’t even know if he’ll rememb...”

And Noelle burst into tears.


	2. Chapter Two

He ran.

He ran and he ran and he ran.

He slipped between trees and shadows and secret places.

He didn’t know where he was going. He only knew _safety_ and safety came from secrecy.

He couldn’t be seen. If he was seen, he would be punished. If he was punished, he couldn’t see _her_ again.

He stumbled. Who was _she_? Why was she important?

He didn’t know. If he didn’t know her, she must be irrelevant.

He pushes this mysterious and unseen _her_ out of his mind.

And he runs.

0

Three days had passed and still no word from Bucky. JARVIS continually scanned international cameras for any sighting of him, certain that he would show up in a traffic or security camera somewhere. And the Avengers hadn’t found anything either; they had delayed their return flight to look for him.

Bucky was a ghost.

Except – the thought stabbed her – he wasn’t Bucky right then. He was someone else entirely, someone Bucky never _ever_ wanted to be again. Noelle’s heart broke for him.

Steven was a mess. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t see Mr. James. Noelle had gently told him that he was sick and couldn’t be around anyone just yet, but Steven knew it was a lie. No matter how much Noelle tried to assure him that Mr. James was alright, Steven knew. It wasn’t the first time Noelle had wished her son wasn’t so perceptive, but this was the first time it had hurt so keenly.

And Noelle knew who was to blame, too: Wanda Maximoff. Her blood boiled at the thought of her. JARVIS was on the lookout for her, too, but also with no luck.

Noelle’s entire world was upside down. She had taken the week off, although she made Steven go to school – for routine if nothing else. She waited at home everyday, hoping against hope that her Bucky would walk through the door. But tension and nerves and heartbreak ran high in the Grey household.

So when Tony called and invited her to come to his party that evening, Noelle went ballistic on him. She screamed and shouted at him for five whole minutes (according to her phone) about his insensitivity and gall, threatened to do irreparable bodily harm, and told him exactly where he could shove his party, before politely telling him goodbye and thank you for looking for Bucky. Tony hadn’t gotten a word in edge wise and that was really alright.

And Noelle waited.

0

The sign said he was in Warsaw. He had been there for almost three days, holed up in an abandoned warehouse on the northern outskirts of town, and it was time to risk venturing from safety for supplies. The water and food he had snagged from unsuspecting victims was nearly entirely depleted. He could do without food, but water was a necessity.

_I’m weak._

“ _No, you’re not, James.”_ The answering soft female voice froze Bucky in his tracks. “ _We’ll get through this together.”_

_Who are you? How are you in my head?_ _Get out of my head!_

But the voice didn’t answer and somehow he knew the voice wasn’t in his head. It was a memory – a memory of _her_.

He shook his head to rid himself to the distraction.

The sun was still rising and the street vendors were just opening shop. Tugging his stolen hat lower on his head, his eyes scanned the market crowd. He quickly identified vendors that were easy targets.

“Get your plums! Plum tarts here!”

Something niggled at the back of his mind. Plums were important.

“ _Plums help prevent mental deterioration, improve memory, and reduce anxiety.”_

It was the woman’s voice again and he _knew_ he should listen to her. But he didn’t know her. She couldn’t be trusted.

_“_ _My ear is always open_ _._ _You don’t need to bear it alone._ _”_

He did.

_“I trust you.”_

She trusted him?

_“I love you, James Buchanan Barnes.”_

Who was James Buchanan Barnes? Was that him? It couldn’t be. He was the Asset. Nothing more.

_“Are you gonna be my daddy?”_

It was a boy’s voice. He knew that voice, too, didn’t he? This woman, this boy, were they really important?

_“I really hope so, kiddo.”_

His answer was clear. They were important.

But he didn’t know them.

He didn’t know them. Did he?

A picture flashed before his eyes – poorly drawn in crayon, but somehow infinitely precious – of three stick figures.

“Ohana,” he murmured.

And suddenly he knew he needed to be in New York.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I have to have Feels, YOU have to have Feels.


	3. Chapter Three

Noelle hugged Steven closer to her. They sat on the couch watching _Lilo and Stitch_ – Steven’s request. Noelle couldn’t help but think back to the last time she had watched the movie. It had been with Bucky. It had profoundly affected him and, although she didn’t understand it at the time, his response became more and more heartbreakingly understandable upon the new viewing.

Steve had called earlier, letting her know that Tony had screwed up in a major way. She listened in stony silence about Ultron and how they were going after it.

And still no word from Bucky.

“I miss Mr. James.” Steven sniffled and pulled his blanket tighter.

Tears prickled Noelle’s eyes. She pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “I do, too, sweetie,” she murmured. “I’m sure he misses you, too.”

“I know, I know.” Steven’s voice was reluctant and sullen. “Why can’t I see him?”

“He’s sick.”

Steven pouted, but Noelle was grateful there was no outburst that time.

Steven dragged himself to bed after the movie finished and Noelle kissed his forehead and shut his bedroom door behind her. She grabbed a large bowl from the cabinet before putting it back and simply took the whole half-gallon of ice cream and a spoon to the couch.

Noelle had just made herself comfortable on the couch (as comfortable as she could be without Bucky beside her) when a tentative knock sounded. For a moment, Noelle debated about not answering. It was late and she was exhausted. But she hauled herself to her feet and trudged to the door, ice cream still in hand.

And she yanked the door open.

And gasped. Her ice cream fell to the ground unceremoniously and she didn’t care.

Because her Bucky had come back home to her.

0

He didn’t know why he knew she was in this building, but he knew. He stood in the shadows across the street and stared up at the apartment building. It was important.

He strode across the street, letting his feet guide him. He took the stairs and stopped in front of a door. It was important, too.

He didn’t know why his heart was suddenly hammering at his ribs to escape his chest.

He hesitated a moment before cautiously knocking on the door.

A beautiful woman answered. Honey hair hung loose, framing green eyes, pale skin, and pretty lips. She looked tired. She gasped when she saw him and dropped a carton of ice cream. Tears welled in her eyes. Beautiful eyes.

She was important – the most important.

“Do I know you?” he heard himself ask.

The woman froze and he saw the joy in her eyes dissolve into pain. That hurt him, too, and he didn’t understand why.

“Because I think I know you. I think you’re important.” He suppressed a grimace and looked at his feet. “But I can’t remember.”

Suddenly her arms were around him and he was being pulled inside. He knew he should push her away, but he couldn't - and not because she was stronger. She wasn't.

His eyes swept over the apartment. No obvious dangers. A boy lived there.

It was familiar. _She_ was familiar.

It was...home?

But he couldn’t have a home. Could he? The Asset had no home.

“You do know me,” the woman said, sitting down on the couch. She folded her hands in her lap. She was worried.

He remained standing. Alert.

“We’re...friends.”

He frowned. She was lying. “Why aren’t you telling me the truth?”

She closed her eyes. She hugged a pillow to her chest. “We _are_ friends,” she glanced at him. “That is the truth. We are also...more than friends.”

He still frowned. “We were lovers.”

She blushed. “Not yet, but we’re dating. We agreed that we wouldn’t have sex unless...we were married.”

He ingested this silently. There was more than she was saying – _to keep her safe_ flitted through his mind – but she wasn’t lying. So he waited.

She gave him an apologetic look before reluctantly elaborating. “You were also concerned about hurting me if you had a nightmare. You wanted more time to heal.”

He noticed her words. “You disagreed.”

Noelle shook her head. “We agreed – together.”

He inclined his head.

“Is it alright if I ask what you remember?” Her voice was soft. Soothing. He liked her voice.

He noticed it then, the way she spoke to him. She was afraid of him. He tilted his head. No, not afraid, but cautious. She loved him.

She loved him?

He blinked. “You made me plum tarts.”

She gave him a watery smile. There were tears in her eyes. His heart did a funny thing. “I did. You said they were delicious.”

“You have a son.”

“Steven. You adore each other.”

He thought for a moment. “You called me ‘James Buchanan Barnes’.”

She nodded. “That’s your name. But you asked me to call you ‘Bucky’. Some people still call you ‘James’.”

“You love me.”

She closed her eyes and he could see her chest rise and fall more rapidly. “Yes,” she whispered.

An inexplicable flash of guilt and shame washed over him. “I’m hurting you. I should go.”

“Wait! No!” She exclaimed. She launched herself over the coffee table, tackling him against the wall. He grabbed her instinctively, twisted, and pinned her to the wall. But she didn’t protest or scream. He could feel her trembling as her eyes pleaded with him, but there was no trace of fear in her. “Please, don’t go.”

He opened his mouth, but no words came out.

He _knew_ he should know her. Why couldn’t he remember?

“You can’t leave me again.”

And suddenly, she was kissing him.

And everything came flooding back.

And he was home.

 


	4. Chapter Four

Miraculously, Steven didn’t wake up, allowing Bucky and Noelle privacy.

Bucky wanted to talk. He wanted to tell Noelle everything. But every time he looked at her beautiful, relieved face, the words died on his lips.

“Is it...” Bucky hesitated. He licked his lips. “Is it alright if I hold you?”

Pain flashed in her eyes. “Always,” Noelle whispered raggedly.

So, tentatively, he pulled her close. Noelle seemed to understand his need for silent comfort.

The night passed quietly. Noelle fell asleep in his arms on the couch, but he remained wide awake, nursing confusion and anger and relief and trying to banish demons he foolishly thought he had finally conquered.

Bucky waited until nearly noon to call Steve and he was decidedly not pleased when he got off the phone. Everything had gone to pot. After pursuing Ultron (Bucky was definitely happy Noelle and Steven hadn’t been at Stark Tower for _that_ disaster), Wanda Maximoff had gotten to all of the team except Barton. They were all in a bad place, in hiding.

Bucky understood the pain of having every single _damn_ demon resurrected in an instance.

Bucky understood the pain of picking up the pieces afterwards.

But he reamed Steve up one side and down the other that he had left Noelle and Steven with only Sam Wilson and Mike to protect them. What if Ultron had decided they were worthy substitutes for the Avengers? Steve had apologized – he knew Bucky was right – but Maximoff had done more damage than she intended. Well, maybe she had intended the damage. Either way, Bucky would love to get his hands on the witch.

They were going to Seul, Ultron’s last known location. Glancing at Noelle, who was in the kitchen making sandwiches, and Steven, who was chattering happily about his latest Lego creation, Bucky was torn between the need to _stay_ and protect his family or to _leave_ and protect his family. Ultron was a threat that had to be dealt with, either way.

He felt Noelle’s eyes on him, but when he glanced back at her, her head was down, back to fixing lunch. Bucky sighed.

Steven clambered up on the couch and wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck. Bucky stiffened. “I’m glad you’re back, Mr. James,” Steven whispered. “You won’t leave again, right? You’re gonna stay here with us?”

Bucky managed to free his arm and gingerly patted Steven’s back. He didn’t know how to answer Steven. He hated how afraid he was to hug Steven. He hated how unworthy he felt.

Mostly, he hated how he hadn’t been able to stop Wanda Maximoff from screwing with his brain.

Noelle came over quietly and knelt in front of them, laying a hand lightly on Bucky’s knee. “Sometimes Mr. James has to leave and catch bad guys, but that doesn’t mean he _wants_ to leave. Just like how you have to go to school, but you don’t always _want_ to go. But catching bad guys is important, right?”

Steven frowned, but nodded reluctantly. “I suppose.”

Noelle nodded.

Steven pouted, but Bucky could see the gears turning in his head. “Well...” Steven fiddled with Bucky’s sleeve. “If you’re catching the bad guys… I guess that’s alright.”

Overcoming unwanted awkwardness, Bucky leaned closer to Steven. “Can I tell you a secret?”

Steven straightened and nodded vigorously.

Bucky glanced at Noelle, his eyes lingering on her face, to let her know that what he was about to say was for her as much as it was for Steven. “I’d much rather stay here with you and leave the bad guys to someone else.”

Steven hugged Bucky tightly and Noelle ducked her head, but Bucky saw tears glistening in her eyes. There were tears in his own eyes.

“But _no one_ catches bad guys like you do, Mr. James,” Steven stated stoutly.

Noelle gently rubbed her son’s back and sent Bucky a small, proud smile. Noelle took a deep breath and nodded. Bucky knew what she was telling him.

_Go. We’ll be alright._ _But it’s you I’m worried about._

Noelle sent Steven down the hall to wash up for lunch and she quickly took her place in Bucky’s arm.

“You’re sitting in my lap,” Bucky said, surprised.

She shouldn’t be so happy with him. Not after showing up on her door step without a clue as to who she was. Not after abandoning her. Not after...

Noelle turned wide, innocent eyes at him. “You’re not complaining.”

He would never complain.

He _wanted_ to kiss her. He wanted to press feather-light kisses on her invitingly exposed neck. He wanted to hold her close and never let go. He wanted to do a lot of things he shouldn’t.

But he couldn’t.

“So, Seul?”

“Looks like,” Bucky confirmed. “Steve didn’t say too much, said he’d brief me on the way if I came.”

Noelle’s mood dimmed considerably. “You are going, right?” Noelle bit her lower lip, brow furrowing. “I… I would be lying if I said I was happy to see you leave. Because I’m not. Not after...”

Bucky’s eyes fluttered shut. He didn’t want to remember.

“But,” Noelle forged ahead, “I have to trust – I do trust – that you will do what is best, for you and for us.” She placed her hand on his cheek. “And for _us_.”

Bucky’s throat clogged. He was pretty certain that the trust and faith she placed in him would always stagger him. He nodded mutely.

“So, as much as I hate seeing you go back out there, knowing that _she,”_ Noelle scowled, “Will be there, I know that you know the risks much more than I do. And I know that you will always try your very hardest to come back to me.” She gave him a watery smile. “Even when it seems impossible.”

Taking a deep breath, Bucky clasped her hands in his and rested his forehead against hers. “I will _always_ find a way back to you, as long as there is still breath in me. I promise.”

Noelle closed the distance quickly and kissed him passionately.

Bucky sighed when they parted. “You make it hard for me to want to leave,” he grumbled.

Noelle just smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

0

The team wasn’t in great shape, that much was clear to Bucky, but they had rallied enough to be competent enough in the field. At least, Bucky hoped they had rallied enough. It helped that Tony and Bannervamoosed to NEXUS for a reason that sounded logical but that Bucky didn’t understand.

The tension between the team was almost palpable.

Ultron was tough. There was no doubt about it. Bucky prayed Natasha was tough enough to survive. But the Cradle was secured and Barton was on his way to Avengers Tower.

When Steve showed up at the rendevoux with the Maximoff twins trailing warily behind, Bucky nearly shot the girl on sight.

He didn’t trust the Maximoff twins. Oh, their story was all fine and good, but he didn’t trust them, especially Wanda. He didn’t trust people who could mess with people’s heads the way she did. Wanda Maximoff was a security risk, plain and simple – and Bucky told Steve as much. They had no business bringing along a mercurial child who could trigger the Soldier on a whim.

They needed the extra fists, Steve reminded him before he took over piloting the plane, and the twins knew Ultron. They knew him better than even Tony. So who was the bigger security risk: Wanda or Ultron?

Bucky didn’t like his answer. He spent the entire flight to Avengers tower glowering at Wanda Maximoff, who glanced briefly his way and then pretended to not see him. Pietro glowered right back.

Steve, to his credit, held himself to together better than Bucky had anticipated. Natasha’s abduction had left him unmistakably shaken and angry, but then Steve had always excelled at channeling his emotions into picking fights. And this time, at least, that worked in his favor. Bucky hoped it helped Natasha, too.

Bucky didn’t want to think about how he would react if he were in Steve’s shoes.

So he scowled at Wanda Maximoff.

0

“Sam, you know I like you and I’m glad you’re watching out for us,” Noelle said wearily, “But I’m really starting to hate seeing your face.”

Sam smiled grimly. “Yeah, well, your man’s in one piece and in his right mind, for what it’s worth.”

Noelle narrowed her eyes. She knew there was more going on that Sam was telling her. He was shifting on his feet, hands stuffed in his pockets, and avoided eye contact. He was tense – not like himself at all.

“Where’s the kid? Sleepover tonight?”

“Yeah. One of Mike’s guys is staking the place. Why?” Noelle crossed her arms. “What happened?” She tried to quell the rising panic and irritation.

She was more rattled than she thought by the Maximoff Incident.

“They got the Cradle, but Ultron got away, even with the extra help Rogers recruited.”

Noelle frowned. “Extra help?”

“It’s hard to explain,” Sam muttered. “Grab your bag and let’s go.”

“Are they at Avengers Tower?”

Sam hesitated. “Yeah. Just come on.” Noelle opened her mouth to speak, but Sam cut her off. “No offense, but don’t bother with questions. Wait til we get there.”

Noelle scowled at Sam, but huffed a begrudging “fine.”

She was most definitely not prepared for the sight that met her when the elevator door finally opened in Avengers Tower.

The wing she had called home for too long was filled with tense, angry friends – and three strangers. Noelle stepped cautiously out of the elevator. Bucky was already at her side, holding her hand tightly. She carefully studied the scene.

Bucky looked ready to murder someone – the pretty girl in the corner in particular, when Noelle followed his gaze.

Steve looked torn between punching a wall and punching Tony.

Barton just looked weary.

Tony looked, well, like himself, but irritated as he whispered furiously with Steve.

Thor – Noelle had forgotten he was even on Earth – looked concerned and contemplative.

Banner sat with his head bowed low, shoulders slumped.

The girl Bucky wanted to murder clung to a man – a relative, Noelle surmised, probably a brother – and clearly trusted the others as much as her brother did.

The brother appeared haughty, but distrustful. His eyes constantly roved the room.

The last stranger was the strangest man Noelle had ever seen – and was not human. Noelle blamed Tony.

The room had stilled when they noticed Noelle. She swallowed hard. “Bucky,” she asked quietly. “What is going on?” She frowned. “And where is Natasha?”

Bucky growled his brief explanation. “Ultron abducted Natasha, they,” Bucky gestured vaguely to Tony, Banner, and Thor, “Created _him_ , oh, and Steve adopted Pietro and Wanda Maximoff.”

Noelle froze as her brain tried to process the information. Before she knew it, her feet had propelled her across the room and planted her squarely in front of Wanda Maximoff. She stared the girl straight in the eyes, shaking from anger and pain.

And Noelle punched her.

Pietro Maximoff shoved Noelle away, sending her stumbling to floor beside Wanda. Bucky immediately punched Pietro with his left arm and Pietro flew across the room, knocked out cold.

Noelle didn’t stay on her backside for long. Bucky touched Noelle’s arm in a warning. “Tell me why.”

Wanda Maximoff blinked. “I do not understand.”

Noelle felt something snap inside. She couldn’t stop the overflow of words even if she wanted to. “I want to know,” Noelle demanded in a low voice that sounded nothing like herself, “Just _where_ you get off, using people’s minds as playthings? Trying to turn a decent man into a killer. I want to know how you would have me explain to my seven-year-old son why the man he looks up to as a father disappeared for days, without so much as an e-mail. I want to know how you would have me explain to my son why the man he looks up to as a father now can barely stand to hug him because he’s afraid he’ll hurt him. I want to know how you would have me explain to my son why the man he looks up to as a father hides his face in shame. How would you have me tell him, Wanda?”

Noelle wasn’t nearly done. “Could you explain to me why your tragic backstory – and I’m sure it’s plenty tragic – justifies forcing someone to relive more than seventy years of death and war and pain and loss? Could you explain to me how you justify trying to destroy a family? Friendships?” Noelle took a ragged breath, tears suddenly clogging her throat. “How can you justify hurting the best, most kind, loving, and _decent_ human being alive? Just because Little Miss. Vendetta has a chip on her shoulder he nearly lost every last shred of what makes him _him_. So, tell me. _How can you even look yourself in the mirror?_ I don’t care what you’ve gone through. Your actions are inexcusable.”

The room fell eerily silent.

Noelle spun on her heels and marched away, down the hall and into her old bedroom. She slammed the door behind her and collapsed in the nearest corner. She didn’t bother turning on the lights.

A tentative knock on the door made Noelle’s head snap up. “It’s me,” Bucky’s voice came from outside the door. “Can I come in?”

Before _her_ , Bucky never would have asked. He would have quietly entered and pulled her into his arms, just because he knew that she needed it. Now his self-doubt and recriminations were back, almost in full force. Fresh anger flared up against Wanda.

Noelle pushed herself off the floor and admitted Bucky. “You never have to ask, sweetheart,” Noelle murmured. “You’re always welcome.”

Bucky grimaced and rubbed the back of his neck. Noelle wrapped her arms around him.

“That was quite a speech back there,” Bucky said quietly.

“I wanted to do more than punch her,” Noelle admitted, voice muffled against his shirt. She felt his chest vibrate with his low chuckle.

“She deserves it.”

Noelle pulled away and began pacing the length of the room. “I get it, you know. I do. She’s gone through a lot and that messes with your worldview, not to mention head. I understand the need for revenge. Desperation.” She stopped and looked at Bucky. “But are there no lines in the sand anymore? How does the loss of your family justify taking away someone else's’? Someone who doesn’t even deserve it?”

Bucky hesitated. “She wants vengeance for her family. One of Stark’s weapons killed them. We all were just pawns to get to him.”

Noelle’s eyes narrowed. “Oh, so now Tony’s responsible for someone else’s actions? He’s not to blame for someone using his weapon. Yeah, I know – grief doesn’t make people logical. But that doesn’t excuse her. And, yeah, sure, she helped you guys against Ultron. Change of heart or whatever. Doesn’t excuse her.” Noelle paused. “What is it? Why are you staring at me like that?”

Bucky surprised her by pulling her close for a searing kiss. And when his hands began to roam, she was far from complaining.

“You’ve got fire in you, Noelle Grey,” Bucky murmured when he reluctantly stepped back. He seemed pleased that she hadn’t run for the hills. “You always surprise me when I least expect it.”

Noelle cleared her throat and attempted to smooth her hair. Her cheeks were still warm. “No one messes with my family and gets away with it.”

Bucky gave her a small smile.

“How is Steve doing?”

“Trying not to think about it. Barton’s got feelers out there, seeing if she’ll use an old-school method of communicating with us. He’s hopeful, but Steve...”

Noelle nodded. She sighed. “So much anger and pain this week.” She looked up. “It has to stop.”

“That’s why...” Bucky closed his eyes. Dread settled heavily in Noelle’s stomach. “We’re going to Sokovia.”

“Ultron?” she whispered.

“It’s now or never.”

Noelle straightened and nodded sharply. “Yes, of course.” She tried to keep her voice even, matter-of-fact. Brave. “He has to be stopped.” She brought trembling hands up to his chest. “Just come home to me.”

Bucky pulled her close again. “Not even Ultron could stop me.”

0

The battle was fierce. Ultron and his army of robots were thorough and competent – and uninhibited by care for civilians. The Avengers tried to protect and evacuate as many civilians as possible (Wanda, especially), but Bucky knew more than a few innocents would be harmed.

Bucky tried to not think about that. He focused on doing the very best he could.

And then the earth began to tremble and crack. The city began to rise – and Ultron’s monologue made his intentions terribly clear.

Bucky growled.

There was no way in hell a flying hunk of metal was going to keep him from his ohana.

“You get hurt,” Steven’s voice came through his earpiece. “Hurt ‘em back. You get killed...walk it off.”

“Damn straight,” Bucky muttered and punched one of Ultron’s minions. He was tired of being everyone’s punching bag.

At least Natasha was back. Steve had managed to spring her. Bucky smirked, watching Steve and Natasha together on the battlefield. They worked well together and their easy banter amused him.

Bucky hated being back in the field, but he was glad he was there. With his friends.

At least this time they were killing robots, not human beings.

Barton and Wanda radioed that their section of the city was clear, but Steve, Bucky, and Natasha were still in the thick of it. Banner was running around causing mayhem (the good kind) everywhere and Vision had been silent. Thor, by the sound of it, was beating up on and being beaten up on by Ultron. And the tide was nowhere near turning. The city continued to rise.

Bucky didn’t let himself think about what would happen when it fell.

He didn’t let himself think about what it would do to Noelle and Steven.

And then Nick Fury was there with a helicarrier and Rhodey and Wilson joined Tony in the sky – and things began tentatively looking up. His lips curled at the unintended pun.

The Avengers converged on the core – along with hundreds of Ultron’s minions.

“I’m gonna need at least a dozen of Noelle’s pancakes after this,” Bucky mumbled under his breath as the robots advanced.

And they fought.

And they fought.

Bucky thought that maybe – just maybe – they were winning.

And maybe – just maybe – he could keep his promise to Noelle.

He did.

(And he ate two dozen pancakes.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do like Wanda, by the way. I'm not trying to rag on her, but, let's be honest: she dealt a low blow.


End file.
